How To Get Over A Breakup ( 10 Simple Steps To Mend Your Heart)
“Ever has it
been that love knows not its own death until the hour of separation.” – Khalil
Gibran
Whenever people
talk about love, they always talk about the butterflies, the excitement and the
happy feelings that you get. Nobody explains what happens when that love comes
to an end.
A breakup,
whether it was your decision or his, hurts just the same. Because it’s not just
your ex who had left your life, but also the dreams and fantasies you’ve had
with him.
So how to get over a breakup?
#1- Don't force it, let things be.
Let yourself
grieve and feel sad. It's your body's reaction to prevent any health problems.
Don't hold your tears back. The first days will be the hardest, let it be,
don't overthink it, or try to understand and over analyze it. Answers will come
at the right time. Few days will do, don't let it take any longer. After
grieving, move on with your life, get distracted.
#2- Don’t idealize your ex.
No one is flawless, but love makes us see the
person we love as perfect, at least for us. However, he has flaws, plenty, and
when you want to forget about him and get over him, you need to stop idealizing
him and start to see his flaws too. That way it’ll be easier for you to believe
that someone’s better is around the corner.
Remember that
your happiness should be the most important thing. If the relationship is
making you less than happy, then you’re probably better off without.
#3- Keep your distance.
Distance helps you forget. Only when you stop
touching your wounds that they'll heal. It's important to keep a distance from
your ex and from anything that might remind you of him while trying to forget
him and get over him.
Stop checking his Facebook account, throw his
pictures, delete his texts from your phone, his number...
You still can be
friends with your ex, but not right away.
You'll have to get over him fully first!
#4- Do something you love.
Losing someone
who used to fill an important part of your days, whether you spend time with
him or you think about him, will leave a void in your life. Fill your time,
don't let there be any time left to think about him.
Everyone has
passions, things they enjoy doing. If you’re already doing things you love,
then do more of them. If not, then figure out what you love to do and do it,
whether it is music, writing, reading, sports, hanging out with friends... Let
it be your new source of contentment.
Now that you're single again, it's a chance to
know and learn more about yourself. Figure out your plans for the future and
set up some dreams that don't have to include anyone but you. The world now is
all yours!
#5- Socialize.
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| Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash |
You'll need to have
a support system more than any time before. Surround yourself with people you
love, your family, your closest friends,... You'll find a great relief when you
spend time with people you love, even if you don’t confide in them about what’s
going on in your life at the moment.
If you felt like
talking about it, but can’t see yourself confiding in your family members or
friends, 7Cups of tea is an online chat with thousands of volunteer listeners stepping
up to lend a friendly ear.
#6- Consider the
good about it.
Breaking up with someone can be an eye-opener.
It can teach some valuable lessons about yourself and relationships, that you
wouldn’t have learned other way. If you learn your lesson, you can be sure that
you’ll make a better choice next time and that the next relationship will go
much better.
#7- Take responsibility for your own life.
You owe it to
yourself to be happy. No man or relationship can make you happy unless you
already are. If you made the mistake of putting your happiness in the hands of
a man, make sure you learn the lesson and start making yourself happy. However,
keep in mind that a relationship shouldn’t make less happy. If it does, then
maybe you should take your business elsewhere.
# 8- Take care of yourself.
Because is going
to do it for you, now more than ever is time to slow down and practice some
self-care activities, this includes eating healthy and exercising as it can
help boost your mood and raise your self-esteem. Other activities such as
decluttering, enjoying a bath and hot cup of tea or simply reading your
favorite book can also help reduce your stress level and improve your mood.
Related: 40 Self-Care Ideas for Coping With Life
#9- Change the music.
Hear different
music playlists than the ones you used to hear when you're in that relationship
because music soon becomes related to that person and brings with it the memory
of him. Also, make sure you hear cheerful music, you’ll need a mood-boosting.
#10- Moving on is the best revenge.
It’s normal to feel angry and hate your ex
right after a breakup. However, the best revenge would be to move on and wish
him happiness. What you give, multiplies and gets back to you, so make sure you
send positive energy only.
Ask yourself
“does it change anything to hate him and wish him ill?”, is it making your life
better? Is it making him any miserable? You’re probably the only one who’s
suffering because you filled your head with these negative thoughts.
#Bonus. Avoid having a rebound.
No matter how
lonely you’re feeling right now, avoid having a rebound. Your motives can be
superficial such as feeling wanted or worthwhile, while the other person might
put their feelings on the line. You’re not ready yet for a new relationship and
you’re not totally over your ex. Be brave and face the pain.
In this life,
every beginning has an ending, but then every ending has a new beginning, it’s
this cycle of life “no-thing, thing, no-thing” and what you don’t realize is
that endings are nothing but beginnings in disguise. It’s okay to feel angry,
sad and grieve, you got to allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, just don’t
get trapped in these feelings. The best revenge is to move on, even if your ex isn’t
around to witness that. The satisfaction that you didn’t settle for sadness and
lived well would be enough for you, that’s the best revenge.
Moreover, "Don't
let the heart that didn't love you, keep you from the one that will."
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