Being an introvert can be hard at times. It can show off in the wrong way, and people usually misunderstand being quite for being shy, preferring to be alone for being antisocial and getting mentally and emotionally exhausted faster than others, for being depressed. These are stereotypes that people have about introverts.
“Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo,” Sophia Dembling
And introverts themselves can be unaware that they’re introverts, and although everyone is different, below are some common signs you might be secretly an introvert and the more signs you can relate to, the more introvert you probably are:
1. You’re not into small talk
Laurie Helgoe wrote in Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength. “Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people, We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
Introverts might find small talks a source of anxiety and annoyance, it feels fake oftentimes.
2. Being around people drains your energy
This is the most common trait in introverts. Spending time around people exhaust you mentally and emotionally and you start feeling the urge of being alone to recharge again. Unlike extroverts who gain energy from interacting with people.
3. You go to crowded places, but not to meet people
Even when you’re an introvert, you might still enjoy going to parties and having people around, but with no intention to meet people or make any small talk. But simply to be engrossed into your own thoughts and your own world or to spend quality time with your close friends.
4. You have a small group of close friends
A common misconception about introverts is that they don’t like people, and while they do not enjoy socializing and having small talks with others, they still enjoy spending quality time with close friends.
5. You get overwhelmed easily
Being in an environment with an excess of stimulation can get you overwhelmed as opposite to extroverts who get bored quickly when there’s not much to do.
6. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you
A good idea of downtime is a quiet afternoon for yourself to enjoy your hobbies and interests, a few hours alone with a good book or a peaceful walk outside. For an introvert, downtime is a time to recharge and get back some energy, a time to reflect and think. Which is necessary and satisfying at the same time.
7. Talking in front of many people can be less stressful than meeting and greeting them
Introverts can be excellent public speakers and performers but on the other hand, they find it more difficult to actually interacting with those people.
8. You're attracted to extroverts
Dembling says “Introverts are sometimes drawn to extroverts because they like being able to ride their ‘fun bubble,’”. Introverts might feel drawn to extroverts that will encourage them to have more fun.
9. You avoid events that involve audience participation
The idea of being asked to participate can be a source of anxiety.
10. You might not always feel excited about receiving a phone call
Dembling says “To me, a ringing phone is like having somebody jump out of a closet and go ‘BOO!’. I do like having a long, nice phone call with a friend — as long as it’s not jumping out of the sky at me.”
11. You have low blood pressure
A 2006 Japanese study found that introverts tend to have a lower blood pressure than their extroverted counterparts.
12. You like to learn by watching and listening
While extroverts like to learn from their experiences and errors, introverts, on the other hand, like to learn by watching others and listening to them. They usually like to be ready for their experiences by building the skills they need before jumping into action.
13. You appear to be more mature than your peers
Because introverts listen more and observe more, they accumulate a lot of information which makes them appear to be wiser than their age.
14. You communicate better in writing
Introverts, often, communicate better in writing than in person, and that’s why many introverts find themselves drawn to the creative profession of writing.
15. You’ve been described as quite too many times
Introverts are often described as quiet people and this is why they get constantly mistaken for being shy.
16. You are very self-aware
It is important for introverts to take the time to examine things and experiences in their own minds, to learn about themselves and understand their feelings.
17. You are drawn to jobs that involve independence
People high in introversion are usually drawn to jobs that don’t involve much interaction like a writer, an artist, an accountant, a designer…
"I hate when people ask me “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others “Why are you so noisy? Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude. "
"Yes, I’m an introvert.
No, I’m not shy, I’m stuck up.
No, I’m not antisocial. I’m just listening. I’m just observing.
I can’t stand small talk. But I’ll talk about life for hours.
I’d rather be home with close friends or two than among a crowd of acquaintances.
Don’t scold me in public. Don’t embarrass me in public.
I am reserved. Until I’m not.
And if I open myself up to you, know that it means you’re very special to me."
"Introverts listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror for small talk but enjoy deep discussions."