Why Loving Isn't Enough: You Need To Have Your Own Life

You love him and you don't doubt it. You feel so comfortable with him like with nobody else. You feel safe and secure just by the thought of him being in your life. You want to spend every single minute with him and you can't see yourself without him

Yet most of the times we love in the wrong way! We get hurt, we get in pain! and we think that there's no other way to love! 

The problem isn't in love!

What causes all this pain, is the attachment to the person you love. When you let your world turn around him, and you just can't imagine your life without him, you think that your happiness depends on him. You're afraid of the idea that he may leave some day, you want him for yourself and then as a consequence you'll try to control him even though you had no intention to do so.

Well, the truth is that the less you control things and worry about them, the happier you'll feel; and the solution for this pain is to be too busy your own life to worry, especially when he has his own life, that way you'll be distracted from putting all your focus on him and you won't seem like controlling him anymore.

By having your own life, you won't be in pain when he gets away because he won't leave your heart empty, you already have many great things to do and to live for. Look for something you love to do. Dream and make your dreams a reality. 

Nevertheless, having your own life doesn't mean that you'll love him less, you will love him more but in the right, the healthy way because then you'll be happier.

Also, expectation makes a lot of disappointments, you expect a lot from him though no one owes you anything, you owe it to yourself to be happy, your life is your responsibility!  

I used to blame my partner for the way I'm feeling since he's supposed to make me happy and keep me company, I was expecting a lot of things from him, and often I was wishing for another guy, but would that new guy do it all to me! I don't think so. And maybe my partner would be even better than him, the problem isn't with my partner, the problem is within me, I'm the one how's going to get me out of this, I'm the one who's responsible for my happiness and for the way I'm living.

Relationships need a constant work, it may seem easier to let go, break up and start all over again with another one, but this is not true because your new relationship would take the same effort and the same work! it's whether you want your partner bad enough or not.

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